Go beyond their behaviors.
- Tell us about your child with a 15 minute quiz.
- Discover an in-depth profile of how they’re wired.
- Understand what’s underneath their behaviors.
- Try insights you can use today in their hardest moments.
No labels. No diagnoses. We never sell your data.
Start with your child See a sample profile
Free while we test it & receive your feedback. Afterwards, profiles will be $24.
Who’s behind it
We’re Matt and Natalie. Parents, and partners in life and in business.
As we’ve raised our kids through both joys and meltdowns, the latter often had us saying: “I don’t know what to do anymore.” We’ve felt helpless, and exhausted as if we were searching for answers in the dark... learning to understand our kids has turned the lights on.
How They’re Wired was built to equip parents to navigate those difficult moments. Natalie spent a decade at leading tech companies learning what makes a great product good for people. Matt is a data scientist who has spent his career turning data into insights.
We didn’t want a label for our kids. We wanted to understand them and help them thrive. You can reach us at info@howtheyrewired.com.
How it works
- Quiz
Spend 15 minutes telling us about your child
A quiz about your child’s everyday moments, mostly multiple choice, plus three short stories in your own words. The more honestly you answer, the better it fits. There are no right answers.
- Profile
Discover what’s underneath their behaviors
The in-depth profile of your child describes their characteristics in plain words, cites applicable research & supports its claims so you don’t have to wonder or trust.
- Insights
Receive personalized insights to equip your child to thrive
The profile identifies which experiences can be difficult for your child & provides insights or practices you can use today to help your child thrive.
- Support
We’re with you all the way
We check in one week later to find out what you tried, how it went & what support your family needs.
What it's built on
The profiles draw on decades of research into how children differ in temperament, such as how they approach new things, how strongly they react, how they adapt, and how sensitive they are to their surroundings. The claims in the profile cite the specific research that supports them, and every research study is listed in our Sources page. The profile also references answers from your quiz that inform the claim so that if it doesn't quite seem to fit your kid, you'll know why.
Where we are. The temperament research is well-developed but the tool we've built to give tailored access & advice is in its early stages. We will continually work to improve both the profile and the actionable insights. You're a key part of this stage: thank you for testing with us & providing feedback, which is crucial to improving profiles. We hope your child's free profile meaningfully impacts your family just like it did for ours. After the feedback stage is complete, we will offer profiles at a one-time cost of $24. If you're curious about the underlying research you can find all of it in our Sources page.
No labels, diagnoses, or types.
We describe how your child tends to be, in which situations, and what can help them thrive when things get difficult. Importantly, we also tell you what we can't know yet. Your child is not a category, so we will not lump them into one. Nothing here is a clinical tool and should not be used as one. Read our statement.
Privacy
Your answers are saved & securely stored so you can come back to them.
- Adults only. The quiz should be taken only by adults.
- We never sell your data.
- Age in years only. We never ask for a specific birthday.
- Delete anytime. You can delete all your data by asking.
- Never used for marketing without your direct consent, including anything you write.
FAQ
What do I actually get?
Not a type or a label. You get a written picture of how your child is wired, and specific things to try in the moments that are hardest, so you can stop guessing and start responding. One-time $24 (free while we test), with no subscription and no password. We ask for your email at the end so we can send you your profile.
- A profile covering six areas: new things and people, big feelings, focus, senses, daily rhythm, and free time. Each one names a strength to notice and the research behind it.
- Actionable insights for your hardest moment: when it happens, what to try, why it works, and how you'll know it's working. Plus what you could say after a rough moment.
- What's underneath the behavior: why your child acts the way they do, and how others may misread them.
- A printable card for the fridge: your actionable insights for situations you're likely to encounter and ways to support your child through them.
- A one-page sheet for grandparents, sitters and teachers.
- Sharper answers on request: a few extra questions refine any section.
- Coming soon, included: a short quiz for your child's teacher, and a one-page guide to help them support your child in class. You choose what's shared.
See a sample profile for a fictional child.
How will my parenting actually change?
You'll feel more prepared for the moments that are hardest for your child! You'll be equipped with a practical step to help your kid thrive in the moments that matter most to you and your child.
Each section ends with one practical step to try, the moment to try it in, and a sign to watch for that tells you whether it's working.
What backs this up?
The questions are written on the dimensions researchers use to describe children — approach, intensity, adaptability, sensitivity to the senses and the rest — and on the idea that what matters is how well the environment fits the child, which researchers have studied since the 1950s. The profile names the research behind each claim in plain words.
Is this a screener for anything?
No. It doesn't look for conditions and it won't suggest one. If your child already has a diagnosis, you don't need to share it. The profile is built from how your child actually acts day to day, and it won't add or confirm a label.
Can my child do it?
No. The quiz should be taken only by adults. It's about your child, answered by you.
Why do you ask for my email?
So we can email you your profile with a private link to come back to it, send one short check-in a week later, and connect any feedback you give us to your own profile. Your profile appears on screen as soon as you enter it; the email follows. We never sell or share your address, and we don't use it for marketing.
Who else sees it?
Nobody unless you share it. A future version will let a co-parent and/or teacher answer questions from their experience too; you'll preview exactly what they'd see before anything is sent.
Ready when you are.
15 minutes, mostly multiple choice. You can pause and come back.